Mike Litman » Blog Archive » The Enemy Of Personal Fulfillment

The Enemy Of Personal Fulfillment Posted on January 9, 2008

Helping you grow as a person is important to me.

Making an extraordinary difference in your life is why my
business exists.

I’m going to share with you a destructive habit I used to
have in a big way, with the goal that you can either
alleviate it from your life or sidestep it.

Let me say it and then we’ll talk about it.

One of the GREATEST paths to being miserable in life and
business is one’s obsessive focus on COMPARISON.

Constantly comparing yourself to others is the greatest ‘no
win’ game ever created.

We know, there will ALWAYS be someone richer than us.

There will ALWAYS be someone in better shape than us.

There is always someone that has something you might
‘want’.

Because so many people look for their self worth in the
external, the game of comparison is a popular game to play.

Because so many people weren’t taught self approval, they
look to the external world for that.

Beating yourself up through comparison or other’s
expectations is the greatest path to a life devoid of inner
peace.

So many people seemingly ‘forget’ everything good about
THEM.

For years, I didn’t even see the good I did and the value I
had.

We give away our power for NO REASON.

None at all.

We think everyone else is a giant and we forget we’re Kings
and Queens in our own life.

There are plenty of people in the world who are rich and
miserable and there are plenty of people who are poor and
miserable.

Work on yourself so you have both. Wealth And Personal
Fulfillment.

Some people will say, “Well, I don’t have this ‘comparison’
challenge.’

That would be great. Just make sure.

You my friend, are powerful. YOU.

So many people chase ’something’ through life and they’ve
had what they wanted all along.

You are important, you are talented, you’re one special
person.

Let that sink in because it’s TRUE.

You’re completely unique.

Some things you’re better at then others, some you’re not.
Big deal.

There’s no need for unnecessary comparison.

Be the best YOU. That’s it.

I believe in you. 100%.

Love Ya! You’re The Best!

Your Coach,

Michael

P.S. If you haven’t read my #1 best-selling book
‘Conversations with Millionaires’ yet, I think you’d enjoy
it, greatly. Get the book and TWO awesome 60 minute CD’s
for only $7. ($49.95 value)

http://www.mikelitman.com/mmsk/mmsk.php

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Timoteo Arao

This is great!You know, I like this subject of not compraring oneself to another person.Comparison is the cause of all mental confusion.A lot of mere opinions are simply based on comparison.If you do not unconciously compare one thing to another, you are really free from all kinds of neurosis.Thank you Mike for reminding me.

Rufus III

Thank You Mike for all of the encouraging words you give consistantly!! I know that you're blessed in every way because you have MASTERED the seed of SOWING in each of our lives, which is the GREATEST BLESSING of ALL. Our DREAM is internal opposed to external. "WE are the DREAM"

THANKS Coach/Brother/Friend etc.

paul

Hie Mike!What good grace to come upon this blog and your constant dedication to spur us on.It is true we need to compare ourselves with others but in a good spirit of promoting each other otherwise for personal pride and for how low we are ,we shall be at a great loss.Our worth determines the way we shall treat others in our reach. Thank you very much for your masterpiece to keep us focussed and esteem ourselves. I wish every body read this advice. Thanks in plenty Mike

paul

Hie Mike!What good grace toi come upon this blog and your constant dedication to spur us on.It is true we need to compare ourselves with others but in a good spirit of promoting each other otherwise for personal pride and for how low we are ,we shall be at a great loss.Our worth determines the way we shall treat others in our reach. Thank you very much for your masterpiece to keep us focussed and esteem ourselves. I wish every body read this advice. Thanks in plenty Mike

Judy

Thank you, Mike! This is an awesome reminder. This one and JUST GET GOING are huge to my actions right now.

I have realized something. I am my own greatest asset and I am made for such a time as this! I am the God chosen and equipped best mother for my adopted 20 year old daughter. I am the best Accountant/bookkeeper & tax preparer for certain people. I am the best wife for my husband! God doesn't call us to be "the best"; He calls us to be our best that he created us to be.

Thank you for this message because I have truly stopped comparing myself to others and stopped thinking there is some magic formula or code and now... I am getting going! Ain't no one gonna breaka my stride! JUDY

Uyiosa Omo

True! It is obviously seen in virtually all kinds of human endeavour and activities. Many tend to build their expectations, almost wholly, on what others say, think, believe, do and have. Yet we need to look within us and appreciate and learn the good and right values/principles, rather than lossing our identities due to envy.It is unhealty.
Thank you so much Mike! God Bless You.

allen

Sherry (2)
Mike you have delivered yet again. This is one of the universal truths ( every individual is unique). However,
we need reminding every now and then. The timing ogf your message could not be better- lets remind ourselves at the beginning of a new year.
Comments from Sherry(2) make me feel so humble she appears to have a real fight on her hands but your words have lifted her.
Keep up the good work.
Allen

roger

Thank you again Mike,

Until recently (a few months ago) I did exactly that...compare myself to others, and it got me nowhere fast!

Between you and Napoleon Hill, it finally sunk in that the only comparison I should be making is MY Yesterday with MY Today and doing exactly what you ask us all to do. Just give 1% more today than I did yesterday! Since I've started doing this, it appears as if the world truly is My personal gold mine.

Again, Thank YOU so much for keeping your messages consistent and simple to follow. I just needed to stop complicating them and simply do what was suggested...1% more, simply Brilliant.

Roger

Riel

Hey,
The 10th of the Ten Commandments is; "Thoe shalt not covet" We have to compare and find our selves "less" before we can covet.

Stacie R. Cole

Thank you. I love your messages, Mike. Greatness Held Hostage is brilliant. Keep going...you are making a positive difference.

In Joy,
Stacie R. Cole

V.K.Subbramanian

Hi Mike,

What I liked most in you is " LOVE YA ! YOU'RE THE BEST !

In this world people should first and foremost think of Loving their fellow-men. You are doing a great job. Just keep it up and continue to motivate me. May GOD bless 'U'

Dave Patrick

Hi Mike

Thanks again for an inspirational message which is right on the money for me as I start refocussing my goals and actions for 2008.

Your strapline "You don't have to get it right, you just have to get it going" is also an ongoing inspirational reminder. We can never measure up to other people but we can be the best at being "me" and offer our own unique service to the world.

May 2008 be a great year for you and your family and thanks for the great work you are doing.

With Love and Gratitude,
Dave

Dave Patrick
Certified Quantum-Touch Practitioner & Social Entrepreneur
www.TheHighlandHealer.com

Tope

Mike
you are a wonderful and great coach
thanks so much for throwing light on "Comparison" it is a sure way of making one's life contionusly miserable and puts a large stamp of limitation on one's life and dreams. This new year i am so determined not to compare myself with others and strongly believe i am going to be the best me that i can be with all gratitude and appreciation to God. My life will proclaim and make this statement true. This goes out to all who want to make a remarkable difference in their lives say - no to COMPARISON. Cheers!luv ya

Pat

Thanks for this it is so true. As for reading your book Conversations with Millionaires this has become almost like a bible to me.

Regards

Pat (South Africa)

Stephen D. I

Thanks Mike, You are truely a coach with a difference for this generation. Sice I started receiving your mails, my comfidence level towards life in general is boosted and I always look forward it as a daily dose.

The topic today is just wonderful. We all have our own individual uniqueness and as such only few people understand this fact. Comparism only brings despair, anger, pains, low productivity and lack of fulfilment as well as lack of contentment. To such who live their lives in comparism, success is always elusive.

You are my mentor any day. Thank you!

Stephen
Abuja, Nigeria.

Jones Gondo

Mike,
This is the stuff that gets me going. I was just working on my Personal Plans for this year and I read this particular artilce and it hsa even spurred me on!!!!! I can and will do it. I rememberd the song---" I am the greatest" Thats me. I love this !!!!!!
Just carry on , carry on!!!!

Susan Ow

What you said is very true. I am always comparing myself with a lot of people. I am never satisfied with what I have and wanted more. I do not want to be contented yet as I have not made my millions yet. But if I do not compare with the next best guy and accept myself as what I am, I will not strive to better and or at least trying to be better.

Herbert Gordon

So true Mike so true.

I use to have a Gold Money Clip that said,

"If it is to be, it is up to me!"

It's a very simple thought made from very simple words, two letter words in fact, but very profound.

I never felt there was anything I couldn't do, be or have.

Herbert Gordon

P.S. If something is to "be", it is up to you to create it.

You are a creator! You create your life nobody else but you.

YOUR MIND IS YOUR POWER

ashok narayan

mike
yes mike my mother use to compare me to some people in my student days, i thought that they are better than me, and i accepted it,in one particular subject , i couldnot
get better than average, i thought i am weak, now i can see myself very good in that subject , my mind gives me lots of solutions,so i lost my academic days because i accepted the comparison, i fully agree we should not take anyone's words for granted,
we are what we are, absolutely right mike,its never too late, i dont blame anyone i will challenge that i am good at whatever i do, otherwise i will train and bcecome good ,because the world has produced mentors like you mike for me
god bless and your family
thak u

Samuel Ajayi

Mike, great piece for self discovery, the gold mine we look for outwardly is right inside of us if we can appreciate the enourmous potential we have. But as a balance we also need to be aware of what is happening to our cotemporaries without being envious to appreciate our worth and the vast pottential we have not yet explored.

Tesfaye

One i can say is THANK YOU SO MUCH for this life touching message.
Tesfaye

Alexander

Hi Mike,

Thanks for the inspiring message
What helps me with a strong start of the day is, I look in the mirror and just say "Tiger, you are looking great and this is going to be an excellent day" and I do not look at greater tigers, bigger tigers I look at the tiger within me
This is the way I load up my personal Duracell batteries
It works for me

alexander nijs
belgium

Impossible Dreamer

You have a good soul Mike. You make people feel better.... this is so appreciated. My friend mentor luv ya back. Thanks so much.

amol

Dear MIKE,
Very true.When you are comparing you are killing yourself.
God has given the birth to everybody with lot of uniqueness.So no need to compare and be in despair.
Regards.
AMOL ARTE
MUMBAI INDIA.

Shirley Ainsworth

Mike
That was another wonderful topic, you always have such wonderful thing to say to encourage me to keep being the special person that I am. I will always look out for what you are going to say next.

Shirley

Dhiren

Hi Mike,

Wonderful thought. It helps us understand how we are focussed on what others do and say and how much we do not believe in ourselves. The day we understand and beome self focussed on our goals and purpose nothing can stop us from achieving.

Ann-Marie

Mike,
As always your inspiration hits it's target. Smack in the middle. Thanks for offering such insight.
Ann-Marie

Jeanne May

Loud applause for you Michael!
I love the way you just get in and say! It's great... is always encouraging and affirming.

Comparison is a necessary part of life -- because how do we know what works for us unless we can have a comparison with something that doesn't work. But comparison needs to be contained to a growth function rather than make it into a competitive, someone wins and the other has to lose, thing.

Thanks
Jeanne
http://aspirationsplus.typepad.com/uydayg

Tim

Compare in/ Compare Out...Breat Stuff for this well-seasoned sales veteran...I learned 21 years ago, when our mo. sales results were measured by the "board", where all the salespeople could walk by and compare their performance, day by painful day sometimes in a slow month...Finally I discovered that acceptance of where I was at was really the key; ie. had I improved my performance incrementally that month in some small way? Questions for myself, along with the realization that "everyone is in the groove" eventually, and it always go round and round to others only to return to me again...sometimes effortlessly.

Ronald

Oyea Mike

I have to admit when I look upon the web some of the things I find my self doing is trying to compare. I don't seem to know just why but I do realize that everyone has something special to offer. I will remember this and meditate on that thought when ever I catch myself in the act.

mark allen roberts

Mike,

For as long as I can remember I have served company owners who always compared our results to that of competitors. No surprises to you….they were never happy.

True growth for individuals as well as companies can only occur when we set our plan and focus on its execution. Yes we need to follow SWOT rules, but do not let your success be compared to a competitor but to your plan.

Most of the people I help have defined themselves and their business by what the market wants and says they are. I hope your readers apply your thought to business as well. Set your expectations or others will for you.

I am so focused on this topic now that I wrote a very short book on the subject that is free for a down load at www.outbsolutions.com called branding backwards. I hope I can help reinforce how critical it is not to compare, but intentionally step out.

Thank you,

Mark

Chloe

Hi Mike,
thanks for the thought today. I have been doing that very thing off and on for the past two weeks. I have encountered some things at work, and have wound up getting my feelings hurt, because I have been unconciously comparing myself and my job to that of others around me.

I think that I will stop and take a step back and start rediscovering just how much I contribute, and give myself a little pat on the back.

I constantly work on self development, and though right now I am not in a home based business, I have been able to take the pearls I have learned and put them to use.
I have made a few discoveries about me that I liked, and a few that I didn't. So, the ones that I didn't, I make a concious effort to work on. Thanks for the encouragement!

Ruth

Hi Mike

You have certainly hit the proverbial nail on the head with this one. Personal comparison is all I ever do without even realising I'm doing it. And I'm always thinking that it's ME who needs to change.

I've been getting better and better at self-development with the help of a few of my favourite gurus, including yourself, and it has started to change my life. I used to be afraid to make a phonecall. Can you believe that?

But now I'm a businesswoman with my own publishing company and I'm making money for myself and others and I'm not afraid to meet with people or make a phonecall to get what I want and need.

And now you've brought personal comparison right to the forefront of my mind. It's the last thing I need to work on. Thanks for pointing it out. I'll get to work on it immediately.

John Neave

Hi Mike,
Good thoughts!
As is so often the case you have made some very thought provoking comments on a principle that, whether you realize it or not,is stated in the Bible - the greatest source of information for self improvement available - but you're pretty too Mike :-)
Galatians 6:4 - "But let each one prove what his own work is, and then he will have cause for exultation in regard to himself alone, and not in comparison with the other person."

Regards
John

Sam

Hi Mike,

Thank you for being such an inspirational philosopher! By reading your blog, you reminded me that I expect too much from myself at times; not because of comparison or envy of others, but because I set a goal each and every day to be a better person and to learn something new or accomplish something I couldn't achieve the day before. I do want to live life to the fullest; however, not to the extent I am exhausted and sometimes fill unfulfilled with the accomplishments I set out and did not realize them.

You reminded me of something that I tell my children each day and every day (in the morning when they awake): "There is only one you and no matter how hard a person may try, no one can duplicate you!You are a gift, a blessing and offer many attributes to the world just by being you! Each day you are given the most precious gift that not everyone receives...that is life. Be the best person you can be, set new goals, dare to dream, and be thankful you have another day that will lead you to accomplish those dreams."

The sad part about it all is that the inspiration I attempt to nurture my children, I forget about me, I forget to nurture me. I am a single mother, so I don't hear (from others-aside from work related topics)the inspirational words to show me that I too, need to appreciate who I am, just as I am.

Thank you, I actually teared up (in a good way). You gave me wealth today that is far more valuable than money.

Respectfully,
-Sam

Cori

Wow! You just hit the nail on the head! "Beating yourself up through comparison or other’s expectations is the greatest path to a life devoid of inner peace."
Others expectations - that's Cori's issue. I don't compare myselfelf so much as worry about the expectations of others. And ignore my own expectations for myself. Major breakthroughs here!! If you were here right now I'd kiss you!! Thank you so so very much!
My lightbulb just turned on!!
You're the best.
Cori

Ryan

Mike,

Thanks for always being inspiring!

One thing you have really inspired me to do is to set goals to get myself moving - I know that I don't have to get it right - I just need to get it going! To help myself set and achieve goals I created a guide that I have available to others, completely free for the taking (not even an e-mail address required and there is nothing for sale in the book). Just click on over to http://www.how-to-reach-your-goals.com and you will be on your way to setting and achieving your goals. Cheers!

Lisa

You are so right, Mike! It is such a struggle sometimes to stay positive. It takes subscribing to blogs like yours, reading motivational books, and - for me - taking time to pray and nourish my spiritual life. Thanks for your uplifting words! They have helped me in my home-based business.

Sherryl

Thanks Mike. Well deserved and needed affirmation. Being the mother of seven, and a mother for 38 years, I've spent a lot of time telling my children how beautiful, fortunate and talented they are. That they are their own person and special in ways that no one else is. Don't do comparisons, not even within the family. Be yourself, strive to be a better self everyday. Let no one tell you or make you feel that you're not up to their standards of life, know that you are worthwhile and that you are making great strides daily. Recognize accomplishments and learn from defeats. Not only have I preached this to the kids and grandchildren, there have been many times I've had to show them what I meant. I've been in some tough predicaments in the beginning of the 21st century and I was told I could make it after losing my husband. It was hard to bury mother and husband 7 months a part but I did it, kept my head high, cried silently and pressed forward. Always know that you are capable of achieving what it is that life has to offer, just want it for yourself peacefully not grudgingly. I am proud of every positive thing my kids do. We tell each other we love one another even if we're not getting along that day.

judith

good solid feet firmly planted on this good earth encouragement.helps me to focus on finding my inner strengths rather than on my failures thank-you j

Sherry

Hi Mike,

I have never read anything quite so relevant in all my life and the timing is amazing.

Here I sit, absolutely unsure of what to do with my life from this point on. I've just suddenly lost my income and honestly, I've never been totally self supporting in my life anyway. I just learned how to do seriously without. I have six children and no help, I'm just struggling to manage the household let alone venture out to try and do anything more. I've been in and out of counseling since I was 19, and I'm 42 now, complaining of not knowing how to get around the absolute panic I feel over everything. I've had dreams, none of which panned out because I would be met with unexpected obstacles, mostly social situations, that I could not contain my fear in and so I left college due to panic, jobs due to panic, you name it, I gave it up because of panic. I felt I couldnt deal with the pressure, so guess what, I hid, and what was I afraid of? How I COMPARE to everyone else!

Youre email couldnt have come at a better time. You've said what all the counselors ive seen over a lifetime have never said. I guess if they had put down there pens and listened they might have formulated some more accurate advice. Its comparison that I have done to myself all my life.

Wow! What a revelation!
Thanks, I'll be thinking on this one for awhile.

-Sherry

sandrarivas

Sandra Rivas - This is so true, we listen so much to the world and forget that our inner world is sufficient. Sometimes growing up we listen to the outer world that tells us that praising ourselves is conceiteda, but as you get older you realize that either you stand up on the inside or you'll live being thrown under the bus.